Womanizer
by Merucha
Summary: Nami's feeling heartbroken, now who's to console her...? Usopp/Nami, can be read as friendship or romance, no adult material save for a swear word or two. AU.


**Hey all! A short NaSopp fic, nothing black-on-white though. For some reason, I just don't do that stuff; I prefer being real vague and let you interpret it however you want. **

**Now before anyone decides to flame me; I KNOW ACE AINT A BAD GUY, I LOVE HIM TOO. But he is one gorgeous motherfucker, and I have a strong feeling he is a bit of a womanizer. After all, he must have girls drooling over hi 24/7.**

Men are ruthless pigs, good for nothing but getting into fights and carrying shopping bags.

That was Nami's conclusion of the usefulness of the male generation. Where, oh where had the chivalry days gone, when men would compete to get the fairest maiden, not screw her over? True, she got her share of chivalry when she was around Sanji, but that didn't count. Sanji was sweet, loving, gorgeous and protective, but he wasn't ready to bind himself with anyone. She knew he loved her; but he didn't love only her, and that's what made her point-blank tell him to beat it. It wad for his own good, some day he'd find the girl that made his lady hunting disappear, with him wanting her and only her. That would be one lucky girl, Nami thought sadly.

The bad news was, she really did feel strongly for a certain guy; Portgas D. Ace.

It started out innocent enough; Luffy and Nami were good friends and with Ace being Luffy's brother, they'd met a few times. Luffy got in over his head once, when all of the gang met up at Nami's house. Stealing anything that was edible and even things that were not, accidentally swallowing a saltshaker in the form of a strawberry, Luffy got his hands on Zoro's beer.

Zoro, who like Nami had strong tolerance for alcohol, was too engaged in an argument with Sanji debating whether or not being a master at kendo could produce a living. Sanji said kendo was too uncommon of a sport to make decent money, since tournaments were not held often. Zoro countered with the point that if he knew how to handle a sword or three, he could just rob a bank. Needless to say, the argument soon involved into prison sentences and murder, somehow ending up with Zoro determined to buy a dog, even if he didn't have the money.

In the meanwhile, Luffy snuck his hand around Zoro to down his beer, which he thought was apple cider, similar to what Chopper was drinking. Both of them were underage, and neither had any tolerance for alcohol. Luffy was drunk as a bus-stop bum after one glass.

Sanji managed to fish out Luffy's brother's number from Luffy's cell phone, telling him to come pick him up. Sanji and Ace were familiars, not quite friends but still knew each other. When everyone had left, Luffy was alone on Nami's couch, sleeping and drooling more than usual. Ace came by Nami's door, apologizing for Luffy's behavior, and Nami remembered thinking they were nothing alike, manner-wise. Ace was polite and easygoing, a gentleman in behavior, while Luffy was oblivious to whatever came out of his mouth and rude without meaning to be, and always energetic as holy hell.

Nami and Ace started talking while Luffy slept it off, and hit it right off the bat. Some innocent flirting was done, ending in not-so-innocent activities.

Nami was head over heals right away, dreaming about the strong, cute, muscular, polite, narcoleptic….

But, as she later found out when she was shopping and saw him with a very much so unattractive girl (to Nami, but really she was pretty gorgeous), making out shamelessly outside of the cinema, she realized he was quite the womanizer. If she'd bothered to ask Luffy, she could have found out sooner.

And now, Nami felt terrible. Ace was, like, the hottest guy around! And she'd actually really liked his personality, too. When would she find someone as sweetly hot as him?

Never, that's when.

Talking to Robin, who was kind of like her best friend despite the age differences, didn't help much at all. Robin was great when you needed advice, but she was just too practical and logical to reassure someone in their heartbreak. She had never been trough it herself; she steered clear of any relationships until she found a reliable and loyal guy, named Franky. He was… strange, and sometimes freaked Nami out, but Robin had always liked oddness. They made a cute couple, too, though Franky could get really jealous.

So Nami was on a journey of depression, trying to find something to cheer her up.

On the Baratie, a restaurant she often went to because she never had to pay, she met Sanji. Sanji was the reason she never had to pay. As soon as she walked in, he was at her side, offering her the most delicious courses and complimenting her everything.

EVERYTHING.

"Oh, hey, Sanji-kun. I'm in the mood for something sweet and unhealthy, can you help?" Sanji bowed and immediately went to get her something. She sat at her usual table, the one in the corner where she could easily see everything that was going on on the street, but people passing by had less of a chance of seeing her. Soon, Sanji returned with a delicious Tiramisu and a side-dish of vanilla cream, complete with berries on top. "Might I inquire of why you wants sweets, lovely? You normally only order fruits or something." She did, when she was trying to stay in shape for Ace. Suddenly, she wasn't all that hungry anymore.

"Yeah, um, Sanji-kun! Thanks so much for the dessert, it's divine! But I gotta run, so I'll eat it on-the-go, okay? I'll see you." And with that, she walked out the door again, leaving Sanji slightly worried behind.

That hadn't worked… it only made her think more of Ace, and all the things she did to get him. She'd nearly starved herself for a week!

But the dessert looked delicious, and Sanji had made it specially for her, so she couldn't throw it away.

While she was walking, lost in thought, she bumped into a very small kid on the street. "Oof!"

Nami clutched her knee and tried so see if the kid was okay, only to see it was her friend, Chopper. Chopper was younger than all of her friends, being 14, but he was smarter than most of them, too, so he shared classes with them. Talking to him cold be very soothing, because he was always full of compassion and sweet, and just so adorable! He was even incredibly small for his age, roughly the size of a 9-year-old, making him even cuter. "Oh, hey, Chopper. Sorry, I didn't see you." Nami smiled embarrassingly at him.

"Oh no, that's okay Nami, I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm late for an extra class in medicine, so I had to run.." a loud growl came from his mid-section. "And skip lunch." He finished and petted his belly awkwardly. Nami smiled in sympathy, Chopper always worked so hard. He was majoring in medicine, wanting to be a doctor, and he was already better than a lot of the local doctors. But that success was hard-earned, especially since the cram classes he took were with Ms. Kureha, an eccentric, violent, and VERY old doctor. "Hey, Chopper, you want this? I'm not in the mood for it anymore, and since you skipped lunch.." Nami offered him the Tiramisu. His eyes practically gleamed, since he was a sucker for all sweet things. "Really Nami? I can have it? Thanks so much!" He took the tooth-achingly sweet dessert before sprinting off again. "Gottagoseeyoukthxbye!" and off he was, almost tripping a couple of times. Nami giggled, seeing his childish self made her feel slightly better. At least he didn't have to worry about heart-aches for a while.

She noticed she was in the more shabby neighbourhood now, pretty dangerous for a girl to walk unprotected…

If that girl wasn't Nami. She was perfectly capable of defending herself, she just sometimes chose not to and let someone else do it instead. And besides, she was just next door to Zoro's house. Now was as good of a day as any to get him to pay his debt to her, which, she admitted, was maybe slightly higher than it should be. But he was just so easy to blackmail, and she knew a good money-making opportunity when she saw one.

Ringing his bell, she wondered briefly if he minded living in such a roughed up neighbourhood at all. He couldn't afford living in a fancier place, she knew, and that sometimes made her feel slightly guilty about taking his money… until they started calling each other names again. And besides, Zoro belonged here. He was like a thug himself, at first glance.

Some rustling, a loud bump and an even louder cussing came from inside before Zoro opened the door, hair mussed up from sleep. "Don't you know this kind of language is improper in a lady's presence?" Nami joked, stepping in. She didn't need an invitation; Zoro was like her brother so she came whenever she wanted. "Nudge me if a lady arrives, and I'll shut my mouth." Zoro muttered back, closing the door. "You're such a brute. Anyway, I'm here for your-" Nami was about to tell confront him about his money, before she spotted Luffy on the floor. Noticing her haltering speech, Zoro poked the younger boy with his toe. "He spent the night over, fell asleep 'fore I could kick 'im out. So, you were saying?" Nami shook her head, she couldn't tell Zoro about her crush on Ace when Luffy was there. Luffy was a kind soul, but he was unpredictable at best. So she waved her hand and told him it was nothing, knowing he'd be asking later.

Nami sat in the park, on a soggy, drenched bench. Nothing today could make her feel any better! Did she deserve this? _Don't answer_, she thought, aiming it at whoever was listening. The thing was, she really, really liked Ace. He was sweet, generous, funny, loyal- or so she thought. True, they hadn't made any commitments, so it's not like they were dating; it was a one-time fling. But she felt like it was more. Feeling the tears come out, Nami whimpered. "Stupid, stupid idiot."

"Hey, I just got here, what did I do?" To say Nami was startled to find Usopp leaning his elbows on the bench's back was an understatement. She practically shrieked and punched him square in the jaw.

"Whoa! Nami, geez, what the hell?" Usopp sat on the ground, rubbing at his jaw.

"Don't startle me like that, Usopp! And for the record, I wasn't calling you a stupid idiot before, though I am now." Nami glared at him, Usopp raised his hands in a mock surrender. "Okay, okay, no need to maul me. So what's eating you?" Usopp got up, dusting the mud off his pants.

"Eating? What do you mean?" Nami avoided answering, because Usopp was…. Well, Usopp. Not really the number one choice for love advice.

"Nami, you're sitting here, alone, you nearly murdered me when I approached you and you had tears in your eyes _don't deny it._" Usopp interrupted Nami before she had the chance to protest. Nami pouted. Well…. It couldn't hurt to tell him, could it?

"Well, I kind of maybe have the hots for Ace, and we had this fling, and I thought we had, you know, something going on but I saw him with this chick, and he's an insufferable bastard and to think I was going to buy him a valentine's day present, when really he's dating this whore that's like, 1000 times prettier than me!" by the end of her speech, Nami had raised her voice a pitch and the tears were in her eyes anew. "I'm such and idiot."

When she turned around to see if Usopp was even listening, only to notice he was looking at her with a very calculating and concerned gaze, she hastily wiper her tears away. "Okay, first of all Nami, don't go telling me that girl was prettier than you because that is bullshit." Usopp protested. "You're locally famous for your looks Nami. I don't think anyone can give you a run for their money. That goes for you being an idiot as well; you're one of the smartest persons I know." Nami blushed at that, she had people telling her she was beautiful all the time but hearing it coming from her close friend, who's opinion she had never really considered, it was somehow strange. Usopp didn't notice her flustering at all, because he just kept going. "And if Ace doesn't see that, well, maybe we were wrong about him being smarter than Luffy." Nami giggled before she could catch herself. Since when was she in a good enough mood to giggle? Now _that _caught Usopp attention. He breathed a small sigh of relief at seeing Nami return to normal. He 'd never really been good at the whole consoling thing, but he hated seeing Nami cry more than anything. He and his friends had sworn to never let her have a reason to cry after they'd freed her from her foster father's grasp. He'd been mentally abusing her for years, forcing her to aid him in stealing from various people. It wasn't until Luffy, Zoro, Usopp and Sanji found out that it changed, and they'd all had their hand at helping her break her chains. After that, they'd never really seen Nami cry.

"How'd you like to get back at him?" he suddenly asked Nami. Nami raised an eyebrow, a habit she'd adopted from Zoro. She appreciated Usopp's trying to help, but he wasn't like the 'monster trio' that was their friends. What was he going to do, beat Ace up? Usopp would end up in a hospital.

Usopp snorted and looked away. "I know what you're thinking, and no, I don't intend to attack Ace or anything, I know he'd beat me to a pulp. I meant.." he loomed over her. "A different kind of revenge."

Ace got out of the front door to his and Luffy's house. Luffy had stayed over at his friend's. Shanks, his foster father, was out as well so Ace had the entire building to himself. And he had a date with his girlfriend too. Not the same one Nami saw him with, she was just someone he'd met and left as quickly, just like they had both wanted it. Just when he was opening the door, however, he felt something hard clang on his head just before his vision was blocked by something…. Wet.

A bucket of neon pink paint had been placed on the windowsill above the door, with a string attached to the handle of the door. As soon as he swung the door open, it came falling on him, soaking him with badly smelling and ugly looking paint. On the bucket was scribbled with a black marker 'womanizer'. Ace let out a few profound curses before stripping his clothes and going inside to wash off. Ace was never one for modesty.

In a nearby tree, Nami and Usopp were hollering with laughter.

"Oh my god, Usopp, that was awesome!" Nami managed to gasp between laughs. Usopp blinked her, holding up a small bucket with what was left of the paint. "Extra stinky glow-in-the-dark paint, invented by no other than the marvelous captain Usopp! Did I mention it doesn't come off for a few days?" Nami gasped before erupting in a new fit of laughter. "No way! Usopp, you are a GENIOUS!"

"What else is new?" Usopp ever so modestly replied.

The two kept laughing for the next twenty minutes, and laughed even more when a girl came to Ace's house wondering where he was, only to see some pink half naked and wet monster answer the door. She'd ran away screaming, Ace just shook his head and closed the door. Usopp and Nami had to hold their mouths to stifle the laughter or they'd have a pyromaniac on their heels.

_Maybe, _Nami thought, _my dream guy doesn't have to be as model-gorgeous as Ace._

_And maybe, _she thought later that night when she drifted to a peaceful sleep, _Usopp isn't so bad after all…_

**In Ace's defense, he didn't know Nami took their one-night stand seriously. **

**Now, wasn't that sweet~? Usopp may not be able to beat offenders up, but he and his flipped imagination can come up with other things. I wish Usopp was my friend : (**


End file.
